No regrets
by FunFlirtyFlute
Summary: It’s ironic that only now do I comprehend Aaron’s job. It wasn’t until evil had invaded my home that I realized the importance of his job, and how destructive it was to the mind, the spirit, and the soul." The last conversation from Haley's POV. Oneshot.


**Seriously, If you haven't seen 100, do NOT read this. **

**To be honest, I didn't really like Hailey until this episode, and now I feel as if I can't say anything bad about her. I wrote this piece on a sudden inspiration. I wanted to emulate her character as I saw it in that episode, a strong woman willing to sacrifice everything for her son's survival. There isn't anything more admirable then that.**

**I hope I did a good job, please tell me what you think of it. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds, if I did, I would have given Hotch a break. He's been divorced, blown up, targeted by a serial killer, stabbed multiple times by said killer, and had his family threatened my the aforementioned serial killer. Give the man a break. **

* * *

They say that people in love do silly things. But they never talk about the things people who hate do. The terrible things…..

And George Foyet must have hated something, how else could his actions have been explained?

"_Mommy hug me too tight."_

Jack, my dear, sweet Jack.

"_I'm sorry."_

I wanted to never let go of him, to hold him close until time passed us both by, mother and son.

"_Why are you sad?"_

I couldn't tell him that I was never going to see him again, and even if I could, I wouldn't. Jack didn't need to know that, he'd understand in time.

"_I just love you so much!"_

How could I not love him, he was my little boy. The one bright light in what had become a nightmare. A dark dream from which I knew I would never wake.

"_Mom, I gotta go, I'm working the case."_

I breathed an internal sigh of relief when Jack left. I didn't want him around to see what was going to happen. I wasn't quite sure what he meant, "I'm working the case," but Aaron had gotten him to leave and hopefully to hide. Knowing that Jack would survive this, at least hoping he would was the only thing getting me through this moment.

Aaron had told me not to show fear, but I couldn't help the tears that slipped out of my eyes. I wiped them away with as much dignity as I could. I had already decided I would not walk to the gallows begging and pleading, I would stand strong and proud to the last. Like Aaron had said, no fear.

Despite all that has happened; I couldn't regret my marriage. Aaron had shown me some of the best moment of my life. There were moments of complete and all encompassing joy, moments of love, and moments of true discovery that I wouldn't have given up for the world. It's true, Aaron was different when we married, happier, more innocent, if that word could ever be used to describe him. His job had changed him. He didn't smile as often, he didn't laugh quite as loud...Aaron had seen true evil, and he would never be able wipe that mark off his soul.

I sucked in a breath. I was determined not to let my last moments be ones of nostalgia. And despite his changes, Aaron had given me something I could never repay him for; he had given me Jack.

My son, my wonderful son. He is the greatest gift I have ever received. Jack is my light and my joy. He is my hope and inspiration. When I look at him, I remember that all is not evil and that there is goodness within people that will endure.

"_I know you didn't sign on for this."_

As soon as Aaron said those words, I knew. I knew that for the rest of his life, Aaron Hotchner would blame himself for what had happened here.

"_Neither did you."_

I hoped he understood that I didn't blame him. In fact, I had forgiven Aaron a long time ago. This wasn't his fault, and no matter the outcome, in the end, he had always done what he believed was best for me and for Jack. He couldn't blame himself for Foyet's actions.

But I wasn't stupid; I had been married to the man for 20 years. And I knew that when he believed something in his heart and soul, even if it was wrong, he would dig his heels in and never let go. I only hoped his team would make him understand the truth of things.

It's ironic that only now do I truly comprehend Aaron's job. I thought I knew what he did, but I never really understood. It wasn't until evil had invaded my home that I realized how important Aaron's job was, and how destructive it was to the mind, the spirit, and the soul.

"_Promise me that you will tell him how we met; and how you used to make me laugh."_

I wanted Jack to understand that the evil his daddy sees isn't all there is to life. I wanted Jack to see the good in people, to recognize the hearts that glowed with inner strength and beauty, and to cherish them. I wanted Jack to know that I had loved Aaron and that he had loved me.

"_He needs to know that you weren't always so serious, Aaron. I want him to believe in love, because it is the most important thing. But you need to show him. Promise me."_

He would do this, I knew he would. Aaron was a good father and a good person.

The feel of cold metal on my neck brought me to reality. My heart rate increased, pounding a ferocious staccato rhythm in my chest.

They say that before you die your life flashes before your eyes.

I saw the room around me, filled with memories both good and bad. The tears that filled my eyes softened the edges and blurred the colors. Beams of light shone gold and fragmented, splinters of rainbow light swirling and trembling with my breath.

It was beautiful…..


End file.
